From 1km to 160 – everything in between is just one step at a time.
“Don’t fear missing out… fear the regret of not trying that will follow your soul through this life and beyond.” – Nicholas Richards
For as long as I remember I had a fear of change. A paralyzing anxiety and apathy to just not be bothered by too many things that concerned most of my peers. Music, clothes, Hell, even girls sometimes – I’d just rather quietly do my thing. I didn’t feel I was different, but, I certainly did not feel a sense of belonging. That came far later when I was running through the woods, stopped… and heard nothing but my breath and creaking trees swaying breeze above the canopy.
I’ve never considered myself as a runner. I could sprint very fast in bursts, like chasing down a fly-ball in centerfield in baseball or going for a long touchdown in flag football. I highly enjoyed the speed and agility required for those sports, however, running in general was just not appealing. I tried out for track and field in Juniour High and pulled my quadricep during try outs. That was it, other than our Regional Championship winning touch football team! 2 years ago I couldn’t even run a continuous kilometre.
When the Fear of Regret is Stronger than the Fear of Change
I was always a bit on the skinny side. Not weak, not overly strong, just… able. I never really dedicated to a training program or anything aside from Basic Training which was 14 years ago. I didn’t like my body but I didn’t hate it either; it was good enough. As I mentally prepare to run my first ever full marathon as part of my 11th week of a 29 week training block – I reflect back on the 2 years or so and am grateful for where I am now in my own head. Here are some key lessons I’ve adapted that serve me well:
Challenge your Perception of Time
Billionaires have the same amount of time as anybody else. 24 hours in a day. Guaranteed. What most people do in that time is make someone rich at work, and then the rest of the time try to be happy in a world where convenience and instant gratification are shoved in our faces. What these billionaires have is a sense of value for their time – they’re not sitting down to binge watch Netflix! They’re proactively pursuing their goals, adding value to the world and society. It’s probably not even money that is their primary focus – stay with me here! Their main focus is more than likely fulfilment of mind and body, which, believe it or not, will translate to value for the world. As Jim Rohn said, if the world finds you valuable, you will be rich.
Getting Outside… and OUT of your MIND
Your brain knows your weaknesses. It’ll sing you the siren song of comfort and relaxation, tempt you with images of warm blankets and reclined feet. An underlying lesson to running that I’ve learned is that the hardest part about running is often just putting your shoes on. I recall staring at them for about 30 minutes, dreading having to put them on again… but then you know what? As I start to lace them up it becomes almost an out of body experience. My brain isn’t in control – but who is? It’s… ME! At the very core of my existence I am defying my brain’s wiring for comfort (and survival?) and lacing up my damn shoes to pursue my own vision. Often people make the jokes of, “What are you running from?” or “What’s chasing you?” My reply is always an emphatic, “TIME!” I do not want to wake up one day unable to do the things I wanted to do but never did.
The Achievement of Many Small Goals
My first route was a 1km out-and-back around my daughter’s school. It took me a few weeks of thinking my heart was going to burst for me to run a continuous kilometre. I was progressively stricter on walking breaks, but the first time I pushed through my usual walk break point and ran that km was pure bliss. I signed up for a 5km event that was a month or two out and started working to that… then a 10km… then trail running… then, as if the ultimate challenge, I signed up for an Ultramarathon with a 160km worth of distance over 36 continuous hours. Maybe not quite a natural progression of things, but I am aggressively training my body and mind for my goal of seeing what I’m capable of. At the start of it all was a decision to lace up my beat up lawn mowing shoes, get sweaty and uncomfortable, go out and set ever increasing goals with tangible results. Track your progress and see (literally!!) how far you’ve come!
Gratitude for Having the Mentality to Get up and GO
That clock is always ticking and since I started running I have developed a keen sense of time. Time is precious… humans can make a lot of things possible, but making more time is just not one of them. This fact makes me motivated to push my boundaries every day to see what I can make happen. A big part of that is running, and training, for a goal that scares the shit of me. This is not who I was for the first 33-34 years of my life, but “I” am the figurative butterfly that hatched from the cocoon. A late bloomer, maybe, but I am just so grateful that I feel like I escaped the depression and anxiety that gripped me by the neck for so long. Maybe escaped is too definitive – more like, I have weapons that I can fight with now. I’m no longer along for the ride, I’m setting the terms and it humbles me to have so much power over myself.
Impossible is Nothing
A Marathon always seemed out of my reach. Too far, why bother… multiple hours running? Why? It just wasn’t something I believed to be in my realm. Similar to that 1 km loop that I was absolutely beat up by, a pie in the sky goal that I will believe it when I see it done. I’m now in week 11 of 29 in training to attempt a 160km effort in the Mabou area of Cape Breton and I’m highly committed to seeing this through. I know in my head that I will give my best effort and that starts every day, every morning, every choice, every thought… there is a lot of mental discipline that plays into my new strength. Running 42km over a single event will grant me supreme confidence in my body and a major point in my training plan as I switch gears to trail running and elevations. Getting to this point seemed impossible 2 years ago – but impossible has no power here.
Preparing for the Challenge
I’m not saying that it is going to be easy, but I can foresee it all being worth it. The people I am meeting along the way, the chambers of my brain and soul that I’m tapping into and exploring, the strength from muscles that are forming all over, the way I feel as I control a conscious diet and engage in conscious activities… it’s already been worth all the sweat and hurts along the way. It’s exciting to think that although I’m in the middle of an ambitious and huge training plan; this is only the beginning! I’ll attempt this Marathon in 12 days just as I will attempt a 24 hour event in May, and a 160km event in August. As long as I show up, am confident in my efforts to put my best foot forward, I’ve already proven to myself that I can reach great heights and distances, both physically and mentally. I’m ready to be ready. I’m ready for the challenge!
Chase the Moon,
Nicholas