Dark. Soggy. The weather is getting cooler. Grey. Unmotivated. Overwhelmed by the enormity of the plan. Full day of work. I’m late getting to hill – late to start. Home at 9:30pm. I’m just in time to get ready to do it again.
Training for 100 miles isn’t supposed to be easy. The shitty feelings and anxiety, and even depression are part of the cycle. Life’s cycle and the training cycle. I’ve learned to trust the process in my experience. On both fronts.
It isn’t easy. I don’t have it figured out. I slip, and I complain sometimes, and I get mopy. That’s all part of the overall plan. Oddly enough, it applies to life as well.
Sometimes, days just seem daunting and cruel. Emotionally charged, and the thoughts just keep swirling. It’s in those times that you must trust the direction you are heading and just keep going.
As if you’re in a snowstorm and walking home. You put your hood up, head down, and trudge along until you’re home, safe, dry, and comfortable.
You will get home. You will survive. One step at a time. It really isn’t about discipline or goals. It’s about desire. Having the desire to persevere and overcome the hurdles as they present themselves.
Having the desire to see the other side of the mountain. Another side of yourself. Another challenge of monumental proportions: conquered.
Feel the process. Trust the process.