Exploring the comical journey many trail runners face when nature calls in the great outdoors. Additionally we look at the mental game as well as offer some tips to ‘leave no trace’ and preserve the beauty of the trails we all love to enjoy as we find an impromptu bathroom while trail running.
Introduction
Trail running is an exhilarating adventure that connects us with nature, pushes our physical limits, and occasionally presents us with the undeniable call of the wild. It’s when nature calls back that makes anyone who has ever embarked on a trail run search for a suitable bathroom while trail running.
In this hilarious exploration, we unveil the five stages of finding a bathroom during a trail run—a journey that most every trail runner knows all too well.
Stage 1: Denial
As you start your trail run, you may take stock of bathroom use (or lack of) before you arrived. If you didn’t, your body may be giving you some preliminary signs that you’re in for more than you bargain for on this run. After all, those low grumbles and uneasy feeling could be more than just nerves.
Blissful denial kicks in. Your optimism soars as you set out and hit your stride. Maybe you even find your flow state, and the early rumblings fade into memory. “I’ve got this,” you tell yourself confidently, dodging tree roots and bounding over rocks. Nature’s call is merely a whisper in the wind, right?
A call that can most certainly wait, right?
Stage 2: Bargaining
As you continue along the trail, your body begins to send more urgent signals. A familiar grumble here, and embarrassing toot as you navigate an incline there… the bargaining stage begins. You start negotiating with yourself, promising to cut the run short if the alarm begins to sound.
The moment is coming that you better hope you didn’t use the last of the toilet paper in your pack, or at least have some napkins… or extra socks… even your buff becomes a welcome friend in situations like this.
You rationalize it away, saying you have plenty of time before shit hits the fan. Literally.
Stage 3: Panic
Panic sets in. Your internal alarms are ringing and there’s not a bathroom in sight. Every step becomes a gurgling, gut-wrenching growl and your stride is suffering as you squeeze your cheeks together in the vain attempt to make the feeling go away.
You frantically scan the surroundings for a suitable spot, questioning your life choices and contemplating the feasibility of every tree, rock, or stump.
The forest becomes a labyrinth, and time is running out. Even more importantly, you hope that the toilet paper is still in that run pack of yours! Tree bark and leaves just don’t compare. Trust me.
The time for being picky, and dignified, is coming to an end. It is time to accept it.
Items to bring to ease these moments of panic and be prepared:
- Hand sanitizer
- Toilet paper/baby wipes
- Latrine trowel
- Sealable plastic bag
Stage 4: Acceptance
As panic reaches its peak, acceptance washes over you. It has got to happen.
Realization settles in that the call of the wild needs answering whether you want to or not. The hope for a cozy public restroom to appear quickly vanishes.
You resign yourself to the fact that nature’s call will be answered very urgently in the most primitive way possible. Survival instincts kick in, and you start scouting for the most discreet and hygienic solution nature can provide.
Hopefully you have left yourself the dignified time in getting to actually pick your spot.
With any sort of luck, you find a secluded spot, have time to throw off your gloves and whatever else will hinder the process, dig a shallow cat hole, and ready yourself to get down to business.
The thought of being left behind by fellow runners doesn’t even factor in. “Go on ahead, I’ll catch up,” as sweat drips down your forehead and not from exertion.
Some tips on how to do the business the right way;
- Walk ~70 paces off trail, away from water sources
- Leave a pack or bright items on the trail as reference point to find your way back
- Dig a hole about 6-8 inches deep, use your heel if you don’t have a trowel
- Use as little toilet paper as possible – if you have a spare bag, pack it out
- Bury your business and put a rock on top for good measure – wash your hands!
- Don’t forget to pick up your gloves!!
Stage 5: Triumph
In the final stage, you emerge victorious. The spot you found was glorious and you buried your business like a good trail user. Better yet, nobody saw your butt except for maybe a few mosquitos.
A feeling of triumph, and relief, washes over you as you embrace the primitive satisfaction of answering nature’s call in the great outdoors.
You take a deep breath and gather your thoughts. After a quick check-in with your body; the rumblings have ended, the alarms have silenced, and the trail becomes your playground again.
Hopefully you came prepared and are able to be satisfied and left the trail without a trace. Using these 5 stages, you remembered to bury your business and be considerate of future trail users. you’ve successfully answered nature’s call and found a bathroom while trail running.
Congratulations!
Conclusion:
These 5 stages of finding a bathroom while trail running are a testament to the unpredictable and humorous side of this adventurous sport. Every trail runner encounters this comical journey at some point, and embracing the absurdity of the situation is all part of the trail running experience.
So, the next time nature calls during your trail run, remember these stages, laugh it off, and enjoy the wild ride—both on and off the trail.
Happy running!